A different Blonde Joke...

[jcubero]

Shrewd Blonde:

Two casino dealers are at the craps table when a cute blonde comes over and says, "I want to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. But, if you don't mind, I'd I feel much luckier if I were topless."

They say fine.

She takes off her top and rolls the dice. Then she screams, "I won! I won!" She starts jumping up and down, hugs each of the dealers, and then picks up her money and her clothes and walks away.

For a minute the two dealers stare at each other. Then the first one says, "What did she roll, anyway?" The second dealer says, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."

 

[JEM]

I don't recall if I posted this one before. If so, here it is again.

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing t he conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her......

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.

 

[DixieDarlin]

Im new here but I do have pretty good jokes.

Three men were in a bar at the top of the empire state building. One drunk turns to the other and says " hey, you know that the wind up here is so strong that if you jump out that window right there, by the time you reach the twentieth floor it will carry you all the way around the building and into the window. You could just take the elevator up back to the bar."

The other guys says " I bet ya five dollars if you could prove thats true."

So the drunk replies " alright, i'll take that bet." so he walks to the window and leaps out. He starts falling at a really fast rate.... By the time he reached the twentieth story, he rapped all the way around the building, climbed in through the window and took the elevator back up to the bar.

The drunk was amazed and immediately laid down the five dollars.
Then he said.." you reckon I could try doing that and make it.

The man replied.." Aw sure....it's the funnest thing you'll ever do in your life"

So the drunk said alright and stepped up to the window. He leaped out the window and started fallin..faster and faster....60 th floor came and he's fallin and fallin...40th floor came up and zoomed past...he's fallin and fallin...20th floor came and he missed it...he continued to fall and landed on the sidewalk in pieces.

All the drunks in the bar had been watching this unfold before there very eyes.

The bartender turned to the first man who jumped and said " Superman....you can be real mean when your drunk! "


:lol: any more good jokes ?

 

[jcubero]

Two men are sitting at a bar. One turns to the other and says, "You look familiar. Where are you from?" "Ireland," replies the other. "Really, I'm Irish too! Let me buy you a drink," says the first. "Thanks, what part of Ireland?" asks the second. "Dublin," says the first. "Really? Me too! Let me buy you a drink," says the second.
This goes on for a while, "What street did you live on?" "King's way." "Me too! Did you know Mrs. O'Shaughnessy?" "Why, yes I did, bless her old heart! That's an amazing coincidence! Let me buy you a drink."

Finally another man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "So, what's new?"
"Not much," says the bartender. He points to the two men and says, "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."