A
Anonymous
Guest
Fellas,
Before I fergit, ya'll see why I aint joined up on the forum yet? Swampy joined up 'n look what happened when he went down the Saint Mary? Rain.....its that dang curse.
Since it looks like I gotta talk bout ole trips instead a headed out on new ones :cry: I went down ta Florida ta paddle once upon a time. I didnt need much gear az Miz Bear 'n me wuz campin' in a condom rite on the silver sand of Destin. [Campin' rule #33, ever now 'n then take yer woman someplace where she dont have ta sleep in a tent.]
I loaded up a Yahoo (no longer made by Ocean Kayak), a double paddle 'n a pocket fulla cash. [Destin costs rite smart if ya campin' in a condom.]
Soon az we toted our gear upstairs I looked out 'n seen the ocean wuz slap fulla waves. Warnt nobody in the water 'n the beach watcher had put out a heap little red flags. I poured a glass a fine red wine (that means it has ta have a cork) 'n got over my road ragin'. [Someday I would like ta put a hurt on a fella who jumps out a long line a cars, drives way up ta the front 'n forces the polite folk ta let 'em in.....but this day he turnt across the traffic 'n I mite have been stuck there all afternoon.]
I went down ta the water 'n tried ta figger out how ta go about paddlin' in them big waves. [My neck still hurts frum that time in Sarasota when I body surfed over the front edge inta the sand in 12" of water.]
I waded some, but it warnt long til it wuz time ta spread some cash 'n find some seafood. [Campin' with women Rule #12....take 'em out.]
Next mornin' I filed my trip plan, gathered up my boat 'n paddle 'n set out fer the waves, which aint no smaller 'n yesterday. Shore still lined with red flags 'n nobody in the water az fer az I could see.
It aint easy ta git out past the crashin' waves. It wuz pushin' in so hard I had a danged hard time pullin' the boat out. It washed me backwards several times. Totin' the double paddle made it harder. I finally put the paddle under some straps on the boat, but then when I finally got out waist deep, I had a hard time pullin' the paddle out so I kin jump up on top of my kayak.
After a few times I got ta watchin' the waves more careful 'n seen how timin' wuz gwine ta be everthin'. I finally got on, got the paddle out 'n got ta paddlin' out. I wuz doin' okay til this wave come right up in my face. I warnt sho what ta do, so I jest paddled right inta it.
Next thang I knowd I wuz paddlin' straight up. Right after that I wuz paddlin' forward, but I wuz bottom upwards. I figgered it musta looked kinda like them surfin' fellas inside a big wave. I'da been thinkin' Beach Boys, but none a their songs had words like the ones in my head.
I figgered that boat wuz gonna hurt if it landed on me in 12" a water, but there warnt much I could do anyway. Miz Bear said she seen it frum the room 'n figgered it wuz a good thang she stayed up in the room so she could call 911.
When I gatherd up my wits 'n my paddle, I give it anuther try. This time I paddled harder 'n got over the first wave. I could see more comin', but it warnt a time fer thinkin'. I jest paddled hard. [I never paddled out in the ocean before when it had big waves so I warnt sho what ta expect when I got out there....kinda like them boys followin' Gen. Pickett up Little Round Top.]
Az I got out near bout a mile, them waves wuz bigger, but only a few wuz crashin'. I tried ta stay away frum them fer a while....then I tried ta git on one ta see what it wuz like, but it wuz hard paddlin', I wuz gittin' tired, the sun got in my eyes.....etc.
It wuz mitey quiet out there. You couldn't hear 'em buildin' more condoms all up 'n down the beach. It wuz early mornin' so the noisey beach folks wuz still in bed. Up on top of a wave I could see way off, but when I went down in the bottom, I had ta look straight up ta see the sky.
I figgered I had enuff fer the mornin' so I started back in....then it dawned on me that I wuz headed back ta the crashin' waves frum the backside. I got ta wonderin' how ya done that. I tried ta pick a spot where the waves kinda played out, but that aint easy frum the ocean. I never been on a real surfin' board, but I wuz fair on styrofoam.
Well, it wuz a excitin' ride in. After I yelled out some bad words, I got ta flyin' toward the beach 'n run slap up on the sand. I got out 'n tried hard az I kin ta look like I did that on purpose.
Draggin' that boat back cross the sand wore me out. That afternoon the waves give out. I paddled some more, but like Ole Riley B. King sez "the thrill wuz gone".
Paddlin' in the ocean iz different frum a river. Aint sho I'll be doin' anymore surf kayakin'. The Beach Boys kin have it! :wink:
regards,
bearridge
"If everbody had an ocean, across the USA
then everbody'd be surfin'
like Californeeeeeaaaaaaaay"
Before I fergit, ya'll see why I aint joined up on the forum yet? Swampy joined up 'n look what happened when he went down the Saint Mary? Rain.....its that dang curse.
Since it looks like I gotta talk bout ole trips instead a headed out on new ones :cry: I went down ta Florida ta paddle once upon a time. I didnt need much gear az Miz Bear 'n me wuz campin' in a condom rite on the silver sand of Destin. [Campin' rule #33, ever now 'n then take yer woman someplace where she dont have ta sleep in a tent.]
I loaded up a Yahoo (no longer made by Ocean Kayak), a double paddle 'n a pocket fulla cash. [Destin costs rite smart if ya campin' in a condom.]
Soon az we toted our gear upstairs I looked out 'n seen the ocean wuz slap fulla waves. Warnt nobody in the water 'n the beach watcher had put out a heap little red flags. I poured a glass a fine red wine (that means it has ta have a cork) 'n got over my road ragin'. [Someday I would like ta put a hurt on a fella who jumps out a long line a cars, drives way up ta the front 'n forces the polite folk ta let 'em in.....but this day he turnt across the traffic 'n I mite have been stuck there all afternoon.]
I went down ta the water 'n tried ta figger out how ta go about paddlin' in them big waves. [My neck still hurts frum that time in Sarasota when I body surfed over the front edge inta the sand in 12" of water.]
I waded some, but it warnt long til it wuz time ta spread some cash 'n find some seafood. [Campin' with women Rule #12....take 'em out.]
Next mornin' I filed my trip plan, gathered up my boat 'n paddle 'n set out fer the waves, which aint no smaller 'n yesterday. Shore still lined with red flags 'n nobody in the water az fer az I could see.
It aint easy ta git out past the crashin' waves. It wuz pushin' in so hard I had a danged hard time pullin' the boat out. It washed me backwards several times. Totin' the double paddle made it harder. I finally put the paddle under some straps on the boat, but then when I finally got out waist deep, I had a hard time pullin' the paddle out so I kin jump up on top of my kayak.
After a few times I got ta watchin' the waves more careful 'n seen how timin' wuz gwine ta be everthin'. I finally got on, got the paddle out 'n got ta paddlin' out. I wuz doin' okay til this wave come right up in my face. I warnt sho what ta do, so I jest paddled right inta it.
Next thang I knowd I wuz paddlin' straight up. Right after that I wuz paddlin' forward, but I wuz bottom upwards. I figgered it musta looked kinda like them surfin' fellas inside a big wave. I'da been thinkin' Beach Boys, but none a their songs had words like the ones in my head.
I figgered that boat wuz gonna hurt if it landed on me in 12" a water, but there warnt much I could do anyway. Miz Bear said she seen it frum the room 'n figgered it wuz a good thang she stayed up in the room so she could call 911.
When I gatherd up my wits 'n my paddle, I give it anuther try. This time I paddled harder 'n got over the first wave. I could see more comin', but it warnt a time fer thinkin'. I jest paddled hard. [I never paddled out in the ocean before when it had big waves so I warnt sho what ta expect when I got out there....kinda like them boys followin' Gen. Pickett up Little Round Top.]
Az I got out near bout a mile, them waves wuz bigger, but only a few wuz crashin'. I tried ta stay away frum them fer a while....then I tried ta git on one ta see what it wuz like, but it wuz hard paddlin', I wuz gittin' tired, the sun got in my eyes.....etc.
It wuz mitey quiet out there. You couldn't hear 'em buildin' more condoms all up 'n down the beach. It wuz early mornin' so the noisey beach folks wuz still in bed. Up on top of a wave I could see way off, but when I went down in the bottom, I had ta look straight up ta see the sky.
I figgered I had enuff fer the mornin' so I started back in....then it dawned on me that I wuz headed back ta the crashin' waves frum the backside. I got ta wonderin' how ya done that. I tried ta pick a spot where the waves kinda played out, but that aint easy frum the ocean. I never been on a real surfin' board, but I wuz fair on styrofoam.
Well, it wuz a excitin' ride in. After I yelled out some bad words, I got ta flyin' toward the beach 'n run slap up on the sand. I got out 'n tried hard az I kin ta look like I did that on purpose.
Draggin' that boat back cross the sand wore me out. That afternoon the waves give out. I paddled some more, but like Ole Riley B. King sez "the thrill wuz gone".
Paddlin' in the ocean iz different frum a river. Aint sho I'll be doin' anymore surf kayakin'. The Beach Boys kin have it! :wink:
regards,
bearridge
"If everbody had an ocean, across the USA
then everbody'd be surfin'
like Californeeeeeaaaaaaaay"