Doctor said

[Lurker]

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally
married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left
hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my
dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't
you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife,
saying that my head is not, in fact, up
there?"

Lurker

 

[Anonymous]

Friend Lurker,

Tween you 'n Matt, its some fine joke tellin' here lately. I got a real tale ta add.


Jest up the road iz a ole doctor. I fergit hiz name. He wuz a purty crusty ole geezer, kinda like one 'er two on here.

This young guy come in with hemorrids. Ole doc wuz lookin' at 'em. The young fella went on 'n on bout how embarrassed he wuz 'n how bad it wuz ta be in hiz spot......with hiz pants layin' on the floor 'n a fella pokin' round in hiz rear end.

Ole doc finally sez "Let me assure you young man....this isn't the high point of my day either".

regards,

bearridge