Duties of Wives

[hairymick]

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given
their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had
told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said
that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean
house and the dishes were all washed and put away

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he
told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.

 

[paddlin4reds]

Mornin' ...my brother;
....that explains alot mate. :shock: You can keep your "Sheila's" downunder. :lol:

 

[islandpiper]

Mick, it sorta remimds me of the guy who bought his girlfriend a MOOD RING.......when she was in a good mood it turned a green color. When she was in a bad mood it left a red mark on his forhead!

I'd write more but I have to go load the washing machine and straighten up the kitchen.

Piper

 

[Kayak Jack]

Had three wives; loved'em all. Last two were 17 years younger'n me. Wore me out.

Now, I'm a widower. Survivin' ain't all bad.

 

[oldsparkey]

Dang..... I have had the same wife for 43 years ( Dam , It has really been that long !!!!!! :shock: Where has the time gone???) so I go camping for some relaxation , actually piece an quiet.
At home she is always talking to me , the TV , the Birds , the dog , the furniture ....everything... not a minute of silence around here , except when she is gone and at work or sleeping and then she still talks. Guess that is why we have the old , over the hill , married persons dream working for us , separate bedrooms.

Usually the 1st night out camping the silence is defining but as the days roll by out there I really enjoy it. Then the owls chime in with there ....Who cooks for you , who cooks for you all. ( Southern Owls ..ya know . put words to there hoots the next time you hear one) I don't know why I like them not one has asked for grits but they are just birds .

That makes me remember she is at home eating microwave meals since I am not there to do the cooking. Then I remember that right after the honeymoon when she burned the instant potatoes so I threw her out of the kitchen , saved the spuds and have done all the cooking since then.

Thinking about it she did have one darn good pot roast that night. I think I have been HAD , Snookered , Played for a fool , ambushed , Bambuzled and out foxed.
What the heck .... I can do German , Eye-tal-ion , Cajun , Texan , Cracker and even Yankee cooking. Anyway... I enjoy cooking because it leads to good eating and I know she enjoys those meals. She likes them so much she leaves all of the dishes for me to wash and clean up the pots an pans.... If that ani't gratitude for a good meal then I don't know what it is.

Chuck.

 

[Kayak Jack]

Aye god, Chuckie - you'd make some fella a good wife. If ya didn't smell so bad, I'd consider ya myself.

Do ya do windows?

 

[islandpiper]

Chuck......seriously, if you remember a pot of burned potatoes from 43-years ago, you have not lived the fully exciting life I imagined that you have!!

piper