HOLIDAY STRESS DIET
The following diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the holidays.
Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk.
Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast.
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Oreo cookie
Mid-afternoon snack:
The rest of the Oreo package
2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Dinner:
2 loves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke.
1 large sausage, pepperoni and cheese pizza
Late Evening:
Entire Sara Lee cheesecake
RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and jam and Sara Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories, they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Food licked off knives and spoons has no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories, since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.
REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS!
The following diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the holidays.
Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk.
Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast.
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Oreo cookie
Mid-afternoon snack:
The rest of the Oreo package
2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Dinner:
2 loves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke.
1 large sausage, pepperoni and cheese pizza
Late Evening:
Entire Sara Lee cheesecake
RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and jam and Sara Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories, they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Food licked off knives and spoons has no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories, since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.
REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS!