More cheap advice | SouthernPaddler.com

More cheap advice

islandpiper

Well-Known Member
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
 

islandpiper

Well-Known Member
nope.......never was a Marine.....just a wannabe.....somehow they never called me up back when there was a Draft and I never got around to volunteering. Now it's too late......

I could probably still get into the USAF, though, they're not as picky.

Piper
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,976
171
86
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
The Marines rejected me when they found out my parents were married at the time of my birth.

Some words I live by:
1. Stay active - physically and mentally.
2. Seek new knowledge, skills, and horizons.
3. Socialize with people who are positive. Disregard those who are negative.
4. Give up guilt for lent. Never look back.
 

oldyaker

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
1,949
31
Piper....You have alot of cheap advice....but do you any cheap advice that's worth anything? :roll: