Rough Saturday Morning. | SouthernPaddler.com

Rough Saturday Morning.

O

oldyaker

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
1,949
31
Saturday Morning, 3 degrees outside and I'm hav'n my coffee watch'n fish'n shows on the tube. Mizzus 'Yak reading the morning paper and makes a remark about the obituaries listing. "Why is that, it seems all the husbands die before the wives?" Without thinking(a fault I wish I could correct in myself), I say, "Because they want too! :roll:
Yep, 'Ol Yak is in for a rough day.
Have to learn to count to ten before I give anymore answers, will give me time to think about it before I say anything!
Maybe this forum needs a 'Dear Swampy' column much like 'Dear Abby' to give us advice on relationships.

Dear Swampy,
I really want the new Shimano Calcutta series reel but the wife sez I don't need it, "You have 27 reels already." Should I hold back painting the laundry room until she gives in, or would it make a bad situation worse?
Or just beg like I normally do and hope for the best?

Sincerely,
Puzzled in PA.
 
S

Swampy

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
1,736
0
Southeastern North Carolina
Dear Puzzled in Pa,
I bet you have bought that wo'men sum nice thangz fer around th' house a' she never said a word!
Exsamplez abound!
Bet sh'es got a vacume cleaner! Better than th' straw broom ...
Clothes wash'in machine! Bet ya kan't find that ol' wash board huh?
and on an on hit goes.... still they'll mubble when ya needz a tool to collect up evenin supper ... a new reel to bring home the "bacon" so to speak, iz jest another "tool" ya need to hep support th' family... Yet th' wo/man persists again hit...
Best thang to fo iz not fret... lay low fer a spell... then pop in one day with the new reel on the old rod an anounce," I haz GOT to git a new rod!"
Th little lady will commence again 'bout yer not need'in a new rod an forgit the reel!
Womenz haz alwayz tried to stay ahead o' men... they do thiz by attack'in what you "WANT". Thiz waz a plan to use that fault again her. Her mind iz now on yer want'in a rod....
Now what would ya want next when ya gitz the new rod????.....

Swampy
 
O

oldyaker

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
1,949
31
Yes, yes, I SEE THE LIGHT!!!

Another boat, than some new paddles, than a new paddl'n hat, than new sleeping bag, stove, mess kit, PFD, paddl'n clothes...................etc etc, etc. Swampus! You is a miricle worker! :idea: I SEE THE LIGHT, :shock: I SEE THE LIGHT! :shock: THANK YOU REVEREND SWAMPY!!!! 8)
 
O

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
Jack asked ....... " Is it true that married men live longer? Or, does it just seem that way ". This might help to explain it.....or answer the question.
Chuck.


If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her
from the rat  race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing
bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this
is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with
low pay.....you should get off your lazy butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is
favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal
opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual
harassment.

If you keep quiet.it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.

If you don't........you're an insensitive fool.

If you make a decision without consulting
her.........you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting
you......she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy.......
that's domination.

If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

IF you appreciate the female form and frilly
underwear......you're a pervert..  (so, Square Dancers are...?)

If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in
shape...........you're sexist.

If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in  shape.............you're vain.

If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.

If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........you're full
of yourself.

If you don't.................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.

If you have a headache.............you don't love her
anymore.

If you want sex too often.........you're oversexed.

If you don't................there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
O

oldyaker

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
1,949
31
Amen!

Amen Brother Chuck! That is beautiful Reverend Sparkmeister. 8)

Now , lets all recite the Possum Lodge Pledge. :roll:

"I'm a man, but I can change, if I have too, I think. " :cry:
 
S

Swampy

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
1,736
0
Southeastern North Carolina
Rev Oldyaker an' Rev Sparkey, hit appears brother Jack iz becoming unsettled wit any woman who'd dare to ask th' lad to change hiz wayz. Thiz az ya'll know may cause sum problems later in th day .... Unlez au man iz datin Mrs Thumb an her four daughterz, Bro Jack will see limited "duty" az he argumentz hiz case wit th' gal... I think Bro Bear haz sum insight to that az he iz up to th date wit all social behaviorz be'in in charge o' th Bodine School O Human Thinkin an such.
Now-a-dayz a mon haz to show hiz "fimin" side soz th women folk will back off a tad an allow th' man to hide wit th giyz an hoot hit up sum....
Rev Oldyaker.... ya'll may now understand th' pom-pomz sum what better now...

swampy
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom