Some Rules of Life | SouthernPaddler.com

Some Rules of Life

Swampy

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
1,736
0
Southeastern North Carolina
HOME REMEDIES AND RULES OF LIFE


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.



2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.



3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.



4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes thus, reducing the pressure in your veins.



5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.



6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.



7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.





Sometimes, We Just Need To Remember What The Rules Of Life Really Are...

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40;

If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.


Aren't you glad you have friends who are looking out for you?