Suth'n Christmas.....

[oldyaker]

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin'
marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them
logs, but he's hidin' it there."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search
the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They
sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep!"
"Merry Christmas, buddy!"
(The South knows how to git-R-dun).

 

[Kayak Jack]

There's a small town seven miles east of here. Retired farmers went there to live. Used to be a preacher lived next door to a retired, German farmer; they shared a line fence in between their city lots where the farmer had a woodpile.

The farmer thought his wood pile was going down a mite fast, so he plugged one end of a chunk with some black powder & tamped in a little chunk of wood. A week later the preacher's stove blew up.

True story.