The Price of Honesty

[islandpiper]

A lady stood before her mirror and said," I'm fat and saggy and wrinkley." To her husband she said,"I need a compliment, say someting nice"

He thought for a moment and said, "You have amazing vision for a woman your age."

The Obituary said he was only 53 years old.

Piper

 

[Kayak Jack]

Was THAT a vision joke??!!

If so, it's even better than, "You don't sweat much for a fat girl."

 

[oldsparkey]

Speaking of Vision.......................

Ralph was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning Ralph got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. She put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ralph have been scheduled for Friday.

 

[Kayak Jack]

I have difficulty understanding why people get so upset when told how they really look. It doesn't seem to bother Chucky at all. (And he's not very good to look at!)

 

[islandpiper]

Jack......Psssst........Chuck is nearly deaf, so tell him anything you want and if you are smiling and nodding your heaed he'll smile and agree with you........

Piper

 

[Kayak Jack]

BOY! You two are a pair! One can't see and the other can't hear. You two remind me of an old, married couple that need each other to go shopping for their metamucil.

If I ever get as old as you - I may have to kill myself.