The St. Mary iz Full

[Anonymous]

Gentlemen 'n Mister Kayak Jack,

Az ya kin tell, I'm a British fella slam fulla culture. While visitin' yer fair country (caint say much fer yer cities), I wuz on my way ta the Okefenokee Swamp when I met a motley crew of intrepid sailors. One called hizself the Most High Sheriff.

I had enjoyed the sunshine 'n balmy weather until yesterday. We never had a hoodoochie in jolly ole England. Even yer frogs wuz bout ta strangle.

The fine fellas under the Most High Sheriffs command were tryin' ta build a large boat of some kind. One called "Mac" wuz bringin' animals tagether, but yer High Sheriff kept tellin' him "no.....not 7, jest 2 of each". It seems Mac iz severely challenged when it comes ta countin' critters.

I promised them I would report their situation to you members of the Old Sparkys....I mean Ole Sparkeys...I mean Southern Paddlers....dash it all.....whatever you chaps call yerselves.

Cherrios,

Sir Neville
OBE, MBA, SOT


It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Aristotle

 

[BEARS BUDDY]

Sir Neville,

From your accent I deduced that you are from Southern England; possibly Southampton, Dover or Penzance? :?:

 

[Anonymous]

Friend of Buddy,

Dang rite I am frum South England. Hold my tea 'n watch this! :wink:

Talley Heaux,

Sir Neville
Royal Grit Society

I am not young enough to know everything.
Oscar Wilde

 

[oldyaker]

I don't know Sir Neville.... Your Southern Little Rock is bleed'n thru real bad on that South GB accent....

Your gonna get up 'ol Maggie Thatcher's nose real good if she reads this stuff!

Sir Winston is roll'n over in his grave.

That's OK, everybody what wants to be somebody fakes a GB accent, ask Miz Madonna 'bout that...'course ya can ask her 'bout pert near anything and she haz dun it or tried! :wink:

 

[Kayak Jack]

Dear Cur Neville,

Whilst talkin to Old Spare Keys, aka High Shurrif, didja notice ifn his pance waz zipped? Sometimes the ole coot walks off n fergits hissef. Seeinz it wuz raining toadfrogs n kitty kats, ya might notta seen one way or nuther, as a gennulman wuddn't ennyway. He needs hep nown then. Mebbeso more offen than not.

If you're a member of the Bodine Gree-itz Society, then you know why they were a gatherin in them animals. A pair of everthin is needed for breeding stock so's the High Shurrif kin populate the world with suthrin edifeces cum low water times. I hope they fergfit to get a pair of gree-itz; then maybe thet breed will succumb.

 

[Anonymous]

Help......bluuuub.....choke.......splash....snigger...sputter....etc

 

[oldsparkey]

This thread reminds me of the Sufairs song........

WIPE OUT......

 

[BEARS BUDDY]

Do do do do--do do do do--do do do do--Wipe out! :lol:

Good to know someone remembers those vinyl discs 'sides me.

 

[oldyaker]

Good to know someone remembers those vinyl discs 'sides me.

Remember 'em?! Hell, I got 2 boxes of 'em in the basement!!!
Maybe the 'ol record players will come back! Wide ties, leisure suits, loafers, THERE ALL COMING BACK! I have a closet full.

 

[oldsparkey]

Will .....SOMEONE ... PLEASE ......help poor ole Bear out with a better English accent, something not quite so Mississippi's and Zantairns flavored.
Better yet get him on some water and camping it is good thar-a-puty :lol: ( I think that is how they spell it down there) for a mind going astray, if'n it is not to late.

He could be paddling and doing the Bobby Darien thing ... Ya know Splish Splash if he is not careful in the big red boat of his.

Chuckles
Also don't tell Bear this but his secretary has offered a $50.00 reward to anyone who can get him out of the office for a week or longer, she doesn't mind the tea for him but locating the crumpets is driving her nut's.......

 

[Kayak Jack]

(SNIP)Also don't tell Bear this but his secretary has offered a $50.00 reward to anyone who can get him out of the office for a week or longer, she doesn't mind the tea for him but locating the crumpets is driving her nut's......

Crumpets!!?? It's tea and crumpets??

All this time I thought it was tea and strumpets!