You Might be a Floridian or Southner. | SouthernPaddler.com

You Might be a Floridian or Southner.

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
A person with a really sick mind (if they do have one , name witheld to protect the guilty ) sent this to me but I can associate with most of them..... Take a look.
( I would hate it if the southern folks would make Jack eat all of his grits , as I said the name is withheld for Jacks protection ) :roll:

You might be a Floridian if...

1.You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances or Ivan.
2. Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time.
3. You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to
accent the house color.
4. You think of your hall closet/saferoom as "cozy".
5. Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in".
6. Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it.
7. You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months.
8. You, too, haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster.
9. You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase
really means.
10. You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood.
11. You were once proud of your 16"ELECTRIC chain saw.
12. Your Street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted.
13. You now own 5 large ice chests.
14. Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down".
15. You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations.
16. You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your stree.t
17. You're depressed when they don't stop.
18. You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood,
roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer.
19. You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own sand bags.
20. You're considering upgrading your 16" electric to a 20" Gas chainsaw.
21. You know what "Bar chain oil" is.
22. You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable.
23.You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry ice."
24. Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy."
25.When it hot as Hades outside, you fight the urge to put on your winter
coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window,when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street,with the noisy generator, doesn't get electric.
26. And finally, you might be a Floridian if: You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds.

Chuck. It hurts to much to cry so lets get a chuckle out of this , pun intended. :lol: :lol: :lol: Besides a Southern boy can survive.........ANYTHING.......... even camping with Yankees. :p
 

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
Speaking about camping with Yankees.......... Ya all keep this under ya hats since I really DO NOT want Jack to know what is going to happen on the next trip......... :D


Anyone reading the joke that the unnamed person sent me about being a Floridian , let me just say this .................. :p

I never get mad ...... I just get even and Jack will find GRITZ in everything he owns on 1st camping trip we do together.

Gritz in his toothpaste ( if he has any teeth to clean and if not then in his polident) his bedroll, sleeping bag, hammock, food, after shave, talcum powder, just everywhere .......... even in his meals. Heck even the ice for his drink and to make sure .......even in his (I hate to waste good gritz ) Scotch.

If a person breaths it, eats it, wears it, sits on it, paddles it, or thinks about it ...........

IT will have Gritz on or in it.

Ole jack will be a true GRIT when he gets off that trip............

Swampy ... Good idea about the sand spurs in his shorts but we might be dealing with an area where they would not be felt. BUT ... It was a good idea. :D Now Al's idea about the snake in the sleeping bag might just work...... :?
The rest of you guy's have some great ideas ... we just have to think about them at this time , Art yours was about like Down under Daves but where in the heck do I find a Crock that easy in Northern Florida :?:
Chuck.
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,976
171
86
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
Bear's Buddy came into camp at Mijinemungshing a day late. Actually, a bit more than a day late. He launched from the dock in the DARK. We're all sittin around the camp, some were drinking only the stuff that true gentlemen drink (single malt), when all of a sudden - I see a light flash out on the water.

"There's a LIGHT out on the lake!" I say. Stepping to the shore, "Hello?"

Answer from the dark, "Anybody up there got a bowl of gritz?"

Do you guys realize just how difficult it is to dig a grave on a granite island?
 

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
VIRAGRI in his soup......... Man you have to be joking ... we are camping with him and absolutely no women in any state south of New Jersey and east of the Mississippi River would be safe plus I would stay awake all night.
This ole boy needs his sleep that is one reason I go camping.

BAD IDEA............ Course you and your family would be safe up there in Pennsyltucky.

Keep those ideas coming in we have to come up with something......

NOW REMEMBER ......... DO NOT TELL WHAT'S HIS NAME about this.

Chuck.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Kayak Jack said:
Do you guys realize just how difficult it is to dig a grave on a granite island?

Dont no little pardners try this.


Friend Kayak Jack,

Glad ya'll made it back okay.....er.....ummmm....well, glad ya made it back even tho ya'll aint rite. :mrgreen:

I caint imagine my Buddy settin' out all by hiz lonesome, after dusky dark, without some Jap lanterns strung all round hiz boat. He musta been plum tuckered out frum too much guviment work. :mrgreen:

Thanks fer lettin' us paddle along with ya'll. Kin ya buy that "Mister Stinky" down here in the low 48 at the Sam Walton Store? Down here we slam fulla skeeters.

regards,

bearridge
paddlin' geezer canoe clud
shade tree medikle clinik


P.S. Nuthin' went on whilst ya'll wuz on expedishun....cept Ole Dan Rahter messed up 'n Barry Bonds hit a few more homers. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Notre Dame won. :cry: :cry: :cry:


Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Unknown
 

oldyaker

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
1,949
31
Hmmmm.....

oldsparkey said:
VIRAGRI in his soup......

Chuck.

How about Viragri and salty pete in his soup, talk about mess'n with yer mind, "an emotional roller coaster!" :shock: :lol: :cry: :x