Ahoy there mates....

[Sir Neville Ballingsforth]

Howdy ta all ya'll.

It haz been quite a while since I dropped by yer fine Southern Paddlin' forum. I been busier'n a one legged Scot in a butt kickin' contest. Leadin' a high cultured life like we do over here in Great "By God" Britian dont leave much time fer socializin' with the colony folk. :mrgreen:

Well, I gotta go do some high culture chores. Hey, Sparkey, hold my tea 'n watch this. Ho Ho Ho Ho....[that iz how we laugh over ta England].

If I git some time, I mite tell ya'll bout my last expedishun ta Everett Mountain over ta Nepal. [Thats jest outside India where we used ta have a big company ta run near bout ever thing.] Me'n Earl (he aint a real "Earl") climbed it 'n wuz readin' Miz Emily Dickens (she iz slam fulla high culture) til we used some pages fer a fire one afternoon when tea time kinda snuck up on us. I sho hate ta lose a chapter that way....but better Miz Emily than our Sears & Roebuck.

Tally Heaux,

sir neville
MBE, RC, esquire

Heckler: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Churchill: "Yes, I am; and you are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."



[I joined up this time so I kin go back'n edit what I wrote. Not that a english fella ever needs ta edit.] :wink:

 

[JEM]

me thinks the tea Mr. Ballingsforth has with his crumpets is of the sweet southern variety.

 

[oldsparkey]

Sir Neville Ballingsforth.

It has been over a year and a half since you have visited or shared with us you tails of adventure in the exotic parts of the world , nice to see you are still among the living and havent fallen off some of those hills you like to run up and down.

If you really want an adventure then I would suggest a Pirogue and one of the good swamps we have here in the States , this way you could visit the locals up close and personal ...... you know ...... Gators , Snakes , of all sizes and descriptions along with some bugs that just love to drain all the blood from your body , not even thinking about the folks that run the tousist traps who would drain everything from your wallet.

While I am holding your cup of tea it reminded me of this........We are civilized ( now days ) over here ... darn we even have instant tea without any of the crown's taxes on it.
Just add the tea to a glass of some swampy water as you paddle along , stir, and enjoy. Most Englishmen have a mustache so you would be able to filter out the bugs in the tea as you drink it.

Sparkey.
PS. Stay away from those white water folks ... They are nut's.

 

[Swampy]

Sir Neville ! Indeed a measurable occation to see you grace our fair pages of stories, building comments and air guns !

I say, those Himmalian mountains can be a bit of a pain as I have been reading about them and their terrible tempetures upon an older geezer's hide. I find that repulsive to my geezer skin in these wanning days of high adventure.

Sir Sparkels has mentioned to stay away from whitewater , but, I can assure you that you would find it most exhilarating in the least for such an adventurous gent as you.

Imagine , if you will, the presents of frothy water caps, surging into you vessel, with the quick examination of the geographic/geological outlay under and around you! The steering of your craft ,to keep from a catastrophic predicament, inhances the the overall thrill. I say old man your more than up to this!

Do put us on your list of "People I Must Meet In The Colonies" .... There is always a warm tin cup of Italian wine to get you warmed up .... His Majesty's Cup Warmer-Upper , Bro Bar, shall I believe treat you with Royal tendings.

Until next time Sir Neville,
swampy "earl of nuthingham"

 

[Kayak Jack]

Welcome abroad Sur Ballenfifth,

Seeing's how the last time the English came to the colonies we didn't welcome them all that well, we'll try to do a better job this time. Things for you to remember over here include:

Eating gritz can retard mental retardation (I think that's the way it goes)
Eating catfish removes contamination from streams and lakes of da Souf
Drinking sweetened tea fortifies the overly subsidized sugar growers
Eating crawdads also removes contamination from streams & ponds
Eating hushpuppies enhances retardation
Kidney pudding makes good bait for crawdads & catfish - but replaces the contamination

Some of us on here make our boats - the rest just find'em laying around other guy's back yards. All stories told must be true to protect both the innocent and the innocent.

During your visit, should you fall afowl of the law, you'll want a barrister. Unfortunately, all the good ones are dead. Fortunately, a few quid will buy you a pretty good judge.

Happy paddling whilst in the CONUS. And again, welcome a broad

 

[oldsparkey]

"O" GREAT............

Swampy ..... You offer him a glass of warm wine, Ya said ...... There is always a warm tin cup of Italian wine to get you warmed up .... His Majesty's Cup Warmer-Upper , Bro Bar, shall I believe treat you with Royal tendings.

While I go swimming, NOT because I wanted to, in that mountains cold, fast flowing river, in the rain, blowing wind and freezing weather then all I get is a fire that everyone crowded around forcing me down to the river bank shivering and trying not to turn into a pop sickle.

Man that is gratitude for you....... But what are friends for. :lol:

Chuck.
PS.... Actually the guy's were Johnny's on the spot and did everything they could for all of us that managed to take an unwanted dip in the river on the last trip , not just myself... A finer bunch of folks you will never meet.... I just have to pick on them.

 

[Swampy]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .... next time it's cold soup and a flashlight for warmth! :twisted:

Then there is the dry ice cream... pleasant thought eh? :wink: :shock: :lol:

Ya'll should know that Chuck fought to get his dry clothes on ... he thought the women were still there ..... but after two hours behind the 4 inch tree, he turned and found that they had left two hours and five minutes before..... :mrgreen:

Shocking... indeed shocking!

swampy

( and he kept yelling "Shringage factor!" over and over......) wonder why?? :roll:

 

[draino]

Sir Neville, Youll be glad to hear that the queens english is live and well here, well sort of. Last year Swampy was put on trial fer unproper use of the Queens english, the whole trial was covered rite here on the forum.

I'd like ta say justice was done but, that just aint true.


Draino

 

[Sir Neville Ballingsforth]

Youll be glad to hear that the queens english is live and well here, well sort of.

My Friend draino,

I have heard that myownself, but so far I aint seen much sign of it. 8)

best regards,

Sir Neville

This is a court of law young man, not a court of justice.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

[Swampy]

Sur Neville, not to warry a nat! We hare in th' south, haz a rich histerry o' speak'in the Queen's English!

Consider moi!

Course we had to git rid o' "Tally th' Whoa" ... women folk began to know th' numbers here abouts.... :roll: :shock: :wink:

Out sidez that we continue to preserve th' wordz....

swampy
Leterate Fuctional
Bodine School o' Tranz Atlantic Talk an' Such