Amazing New Invention

[islandpiper]

Wow! I had an amazing revelation today. Here in South Eastern Louisiana we like our coffee, first thing in the morning and then as the day progresses. So, as usual, I had a couple of cups at breakfast, and then bought another one at the Golden Arches (can I use their real name on this board?) on the way to work.

Well, they have pretty good coffee, but I didn't see much traffic today and got to work a little early. My Paper coffee cup was about half-full, and I just left it in the car with the lid on, and went in to work.

Now, this has to be one of the greatest inventions of the 21st Century and they aren't even telling anyone about it. Here goes:

I came out of work, wrapped a wet cloth around my hand to pull the door handle up and get into my car. Seeing that coffee I reached for it without really thinking about it and burned my lip. Funny thing, if you left a half cup of coffee in the car in Michigan it cooled off right away. What I'm thinking is that the cups in Louisiana must be different.

So, just to be a nice guy, I washed out that cup and mailed it off to the boys at the Iron Lake Fishing Club in the UP so they can use it when they go out ice-fishing in about a month. They should be able to keep their coffee hot all day with it. It works great here, should work there too.

I'll let you know how this turns out.

If it works for them I may start selling them to the guys up north of eBay!

 

[Kayak Jack]

Piper, a few questions:

1. Did you remember to get the senior discount?

2. Was this miracle cup in the left cup holder? Or in the right hand one?

3. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

 

[islandpiper]

answers

Jack......

1. They don't give me the senior discount. My wife got tired of sleeping with an old, gray-haird guy and made me color my ( remaining ) locks a nice, light brown. So, I don't look as old as I'd have to in order to get the discount.

2. the cup was in the center holder......( geez, you have a left side cup holder in your car? )

3. I never chew gum, get too tired. Pretty dangerous, too, getting up on the stepladder to put the gum on top of the bedpost. Then, there would be the issue of remembering where I put it.

Hope this helps clarify the issue. Piper

 

[Kayak Jack]

Yes, I now have analysed the thermodynamics of the cup, and understand cold fusion.

The next mystery is why you would dye your hair (both of them) to a darker color. I worked all my Life to get grey hair. I'll be DAMNED if I'll cover it up. Does the term "Silver Fox" come to mind?

 

[islandpiper]

different cup

Well, I tried it again today and it seem to work OK. I went out to the car at about noon, wore two pair of sunglasses: the regular ones and those molded plastic ones like you see people wearing outside the Senior Citizen Center to shield my eyes and with my oven mitt on , opened up the car door. Yup......that coffee was just about boiling.

Then, at about three, it clouded up and started to rain. Just out of curiousity, I checked that coffee again and it was a lot cooler.

So, somehow.......some amazing technological coupling between the sensor elements in the paper cup and the weather service allwed that coffee to cool down.

I'm still working on it. I'll let you know.

Piper

 

[Kayak Jack]

Another variable is the color of the lens in you sexy-senior-citizen sun glasses. Refractory waves are known to diffuse throughout the ether of the atmosphere, and react with ions in coffee. No paper cup known to either mankind - or even to Data of Star Trek - can ward off this effect.

 

[oldsparkey]

I am glad he asked about saying McDonalds on here since we never say McDonalds on here we just refer to it as the golden arches. Hot coffee specialists (they do have good coffee) unlike some of the coffee a person cooks up for us when we are camping. :roll:

I like to say they have the perfect breakfast with all the major food groups, salt, fat, cholesterol, more salty fat and a sprinkling of more cholesterol in there food.
Don't forget the saturated fat dressing, that adds a good flavor to everything they have except the coffee.
Yep when someone says McDonalds on here then they have to buy a happy meal for everyone. That might be why no one ever says McDonalds on here. :?

OK... Jack I said it now you owe me a Whopper and some Wendies Chili. "O"oooop's wrong places.

Chuckles

 

[Kayak Jack]

We can safely group all fast food sites under the moniker of "Cholesterol Buffet". And, we all complain, and then stand in their lines with money in our hands. How sincere are we?

 

[bearridge]

Good grief Chuck,

Way I see it, Swampy's coffee iz 100x better'n Mickey D's. My mechanics wife loves that stuff. I reckon that iz why Ole Baskin & Robbins done so good. I'd rather put sugar in my grits. I like the Mickey D breakfast, but I caint think of no use fer the coffee.....less it kills grass in the sidewalk. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

regards
bearridge
juan valdez society

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know. P. J. O'Rourke

 

[islandpiper]

cups

I think I may have figured part of this out.....it may be related to the ambient temperature inside the car....

I have applied for a US Government Grant to study this and the Pre-application has come back stamped "APPROVED-SUBMIT FINAL APP."

thanks to all you taxpayers out there I may have a regular job for a couple of years getting the data together.

I'll keep you posted. Piper

 

[oldsparkey]

Good grief Chuck,

Way I see it, Swampy's coffee iz 100x better'n Mickey D's. My mechanics wife loves that stuff. I reckon that iz why Ole Baskin & Robbins done so good. I'd rather put sugar in my grits. I like the Mickey D breakfast, but I caint think of no use fer the coffee.....less it kills grass in the sidewalk. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

OK... Folks we have just heard from someone who's coffee taste buds have been destroyed by Swampys coffee. NO ...I take that back ..... All of his taste buds have been destroyed if he thinks Mickey D's has a good breakfast. :roll:

I knew someone was going to be a victim of this summer heat in the South and now I know who, besides myself. I have to admit I do have there sausage biscuit about two times a year and that is out of pure desperation for a super sized helping of fat and salt.

The P. E. T. A. (People Eating Tasty Animals ) Folks stopped all the shipments of salted whale blubber into the state of Florida a long time ago (About the time they started making ships out of metal and Mobi Dick got even with that Whaling Ship Captain) so we had to find a substitute for it. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Chuck.

 

[islandpiper]

chuck

Chuck: Good afternoon sir, ya want fries with that?

heh heh heh

 

[Kayak Jack]

Piper,

What's an ambient? Can you fry one of them? Or, are they better par-boiled first? Are they related to a nauga? Don't hardly see one of them anymore, endangered species I think.

 

[bearridge]

OK... Folks we have just heard from someone who's coffee taste buds have been destroyed by Swampys coffee.

O Master of Flowbizness,
Once upon a time I used ta stay at Miz Ann's campground with a heap a fellas frum round here. When it wuz time ta go, we always pulled out at sunrise. Bout 30 minutes after we left the gorge, we come ta Mickey D's in Murphy.

We wuz ready fer coffee 'n the parkin' lot wuz eazy on the canoe trailers. Ya know how much I like a cup a java in the mornin'. Fer 2-3 years I drank the coffee, but finally I jest give up....the taste stayed with me all mornin'. :cry: That wuz years before I ever met Swampus Javicus.

I like the McMuffin'. Sausage biscuit. If I am a quart low, I eat the fried taters. :?

regards
bearridge
bodine cafe society

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. Ronald Reagan

 

[oldyaker]

OK... Folks we have just heard from someone who's coffee taste buds have been destroyed by Swampys coffee. NO ...I take that back ..... All of his taste buds have been destroyed
Chuck.

Hell Chuck! All Bear lost was taste buds, I lost a pair of BVD's, a pair of britches, a sleeping bag, and almost my hammock from drinking Swampy's coffee! :shock: Good thing I got outta the hammock just in time or I would have lost it too! :?
I've started a program of taking Imodium tablets every day for week before I go camping with him and drinking his coffee. :roll:

 

[bearridge]

I've started a program of taking Imodium tablets every day for week before I go camping with him and drinking his coffee. :roll:

Friend oldyaker,
Ya better not take that anti-squirt dope. My BS meter went plum off the scale with yer last tale. Ya mite bust open like a brown watermelon. :mrgreen:
regards
bearridge
shade tree medikle clinic

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

 

[oldsparkey]

PSssssssssssss , oldyaker over here..... Quietly so no one knows.....
Good .. Let me remind you about some things we have learned while out camping about Bear.

1.... Swampy's coffee will Reactivate a dead battery in any vehicle.
2..... Bear is never hungry, Must be due to his destroyed taste buds.
3..... He likes MRE's .. Meals Rejected by Everyone, and thinks they are a great. See item # 2
4..... Remember when he hid all of those hot dog buns? My bet is that those were his snacks at night while we were asleep.
5..... He only eats Yeller Gritz ...... Someday I have to ask him about Yeller Snow as after dinner treat. :roll:
6..... He is not really right in the head, he actually goes camping with us.
7..... To make matters worse he sets up camping trips at some place called the Lost Minds Campground and we go up there with him.
8......This makes me wonder about our sanity.
9..... He adds hot sauce to meals with plenty of hot sauce already in them ....
10..... He thinks any river with class 10 or class 15 rapids is just a normal paddle.
Thank God we have not paddled up north with him and done Niagara Falls. My bet is he thinks of them as just a small obstacle in the river.

Remembering something my folks told me as a youngster, then during all my time in Law Enforcement and later in retirement ....... I have never forgotten it.... Never, Ever, Argue with someone who is mentally unstable, Just agree with them and continue on. I found out that it works really good when dealing with Lawyers also. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Chuck.

 

[bearridge]

Ole Sparkanator,

I dont care what the fellas sez when ya aint listenin'......yer near bout okay in my book. MREs aint C rations. The MREs I brung on my first St. Mary trip wuz frum Desert Storm. My newer MREs aint nuthin' like that. One 'er two come frum Ole Emeril. I like Bobby Flay's oatmeal barbecue MRE. Miz Rachel Ray's MRE iz kinda oily, but extra virgin. :mrgreen:

Nowadays they got vegetarian MREs, tofu MREs, arrugula salad MREs, Thailand peanut curry dogmeat MREs 'n french MREs (they make ya wanna surrender, but taste purty good). Army food aint like when you geezers joined up. [Truthful Jack had ta eat elephant dumplings that time him 'n Hannibal come inta Italy frum the Alps.]

Nowadays its more like the army Goldie Hawn aimed ta join in "Private Benjamin". [Ya seen that cute blonde that wrecked the jeep 'n ended up in the Iraq hospital....they wuz gwine ta make a movie bout that til they seen it wuz a sad day fer the ole time folk. Her kind aint nuthin' like the folks that landed at Normandy.] Now dont git me wrong, there iz still some ole time soldiers in there, but they lay low.

Opps....sorry I fergot this iz a glue sniffin' forum. :wink:

tastefully yourn
bearridge

I wanted to play jazz in the worst way-and I did. Dave Van Ronk

 

[oldyaker]

Chuck, We had to run into the Target tonight to pick up stuff for the Grandkid coming in this weekend. I swooped thru the brand new BVD's on sale section in anticipation of our next camping trip and Swampy's coffee. Anyway, they had alot of goofy t-shirts on the rack. One of them had printed on it, "TRUST ME! I'M A LAWYER!" I'll bet a pot of Swampy's coffee you can guess who run across my mind when I saw it! He would have had one but the largest size they had was a large. It was printed in red.

"Really Chuck, that Army food is real good!"
"Ain't no Class 5 rapids on this river."
"It's around the next bend in the river."

Did you come up with that t-shirt Chuck?

:wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Kayak Jack]

... a lot of goofy t-shirts on the rack. One of them had printed on it, "TRUST ME! I'M A LAWYER!" I'll bet a pot of Swampy's coffee you can guess who run across my mind when I saw it! ...

Yeah, Yakus Veraciticus, but a lot of us on here would also qualify for that same stain painted by a broad brush. 'Ceppin' me, of course.

(That remark refers to width of the brush, not the gender of a brush bearer.)