best geezer joke ever

[islandpiper]

Two elderly friends, Larry and Ken met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Larry didn't show up. Ken didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Larry hadn't shown up for a week or so, Ken really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Ken didn't know where Larry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Ken figured he had seen the last of Larry, but one day, Ken approached the park and -- lo and behold --there sat Larry!
Ken was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Larry, what in the world happened to you?"

Larry replied, "I've been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Ken. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Larry said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Ken, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded guilty."

"The judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

 

[Kayak Jack]

Zeke, a 65 year old farmer, went to the doctors for a physical.

How's farming, Zeke?"

"Good, aye god, doc - good. I'm getting married next week."

"Congratulations. Who's the lucky lady?"

"Mary Higgins."

"Uhhh, Zeke, the Mary Higgins that works at the cafe down the street? She's about 25, isn't she?"

"Twenty six, actually."

"Well, you going to get a hired hand to help out with chores and such?"

"Good idea, doc. Thanks."

Next year, they met up on the street. Doc asks, "How's it going Zeke? How's your new wife?"

"Going well, thanks. Mary's pregnant."

Suspecting the hired hand has been doing more than chores, doc asked, "And, how's the hired hand?"

Zeke got a twinkle in his eye, leaned over and said, "She's pregnant too."