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Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,976
171
86
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
Joke the first:
Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the 2nd guest asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied.He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed:

"You asshole... it's ten past three in the morning!"


Joke the second:
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft............ Today, it's called golf.
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Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to
know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.
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One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
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Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at
when you are old.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper, then ..... you forgot to pull your zipper down!
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If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a
smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??
 

Phil in IL

Member
Aug 27, 2003
9
0
Not me Swampy, I'm keepin my windbreaker. We've been married for 11 yrs to the day. I think she's a keeper.