Italian dressin'

[Anonymous]

Fellas,

I like Italian food 'n drink. The High Sheriff 'n Swampy kin tell ya how that young fella who married up with the Gallo daughter made some fine heart medication.

Anyway, I already tole ya'll how I set out on the Holy Grail Italian Dressin' Quest. Me'n Lance set out ta find it bout 10-15 years ago. We figgered we musta spent 10 times more'n it woulda cost ta buy the best high dollar stuff.

We tole Robert ta pump Grandma Montesi. We tole ever Italian we knowed ta help us out. We spent a heap a money 'n done a heap a cookin', but we never found the Holy Grail. Mebbe oldyaker 'er Kahuna know the best one? I dont know, but after 10 years mine gits better ever batch.

I won't put my Italian dressin' in the icebox, so that knocks out a heap a stuff ya kin put in it. But I kin tote mine in a canoe.

Today I changed frum white vinegar ta apple vinegar. So here iz where I'm at....like Ole Rhymin' Simon used ta say "Still Crazy After All These Years".

Two big spoonfulls a Zatarains
Salt (I used the stuff I save outta the pretzel bags)
Garlic Powder
half a cup a water

boil this stuff.......

add a cup of apple cider vinegar 'n three cups a green olive oil....dont use no extra virgin stuff

In a short time...not too long...what am I, a watch? [Mel Brooks]....it will be fittin'.

Balsamic vinegar iz fine stuff. Someday I find that Grail.

regards,

bearridge





Italy is not technically part of the Third World, but no one has told the Italians. P.J. O'Rourke

 

[oldyaker]

Uh Huh!

Bear,
Your on a hot trail with your "Coon Dog". Try some wine vinegar or better yet some wine vinegar that's garlic flavored. Grandpap used to make a few barrels of "Dago Red" every fall but he earmarked a 25 gallon barrel just for wine vinegar. Granny made salad derssing from it, pickles, green 'maters and onions.
Grandad made beer too during prohibition, he also served proudly as a tail gunner on a beer truck during America's dark days. Never got caught.
Tell ya what else Bear, noth'n beats fresh chopped basil on fresh 'maters from the garden, Mizzus Yak raises basil in her herb garden every year just for that purpose. Granny taught her that, and she ain't Italian but she now thinks she is one. Granny and Momma converted her. If ya make fresh 'mater sauce, lotsa garlic and basil, pinch of oregeno is good too but not too much. "Marinara Sauce" (Meatless), means Sailor Style, Italian sailors didn't have much meat for sauce on those 'ol sail'n ships.

Bear, you can't find Balsamic vinegar? Let me know, I'll ship ya down a small bottle, my compliments. We have at least 3 kinds of the stuff down in the wine cellar as we speak, along with two gallons of wine vinegar, I won't mention the wine, Mizzus Yak keeps tab on that stuff.

PS: You don't hafta go scrap'n no salt off'n no pretzels if yer runn'n short a salt, Italian's use alota sea salt in recipes, cheap enough. If yer interested, I'll tell ya and give ya the recipe fer Pasta Putanesca, a little seedy story and some pretty good eats if'n ya like anchovy's and garlic. Anchovy's, ya either love 'em or hate 'em.

 

[Oldtimer]

Oldyaker,

I used to have a pretty good command of Spanish and, it being a Romance language, enabled me to get a grip on other Romance languages like Italian. I know some things don't cross-translate, even in the various flavors of Spanish but I have to ask......

Pasta Putanesca......does that pasta refer in any way to the residents in that little house in the red light district?

Oldtimer

 

[oldyaker]

Woah!

Dang Oldtimer, you are good! Yep the name fits. The origin of this sauce came from the ladies of the worlds oldest profession. They would make it from stuff that would be on their shelves and they would make it in hurry so as not to lose too many customers. Especially when a few ships pulled into port. I make it on occasion and I like it.

Pasta Putanesca(or ladies of the evening pasta)
*1/2 cup olive oil
*3 finely chopped garlic cloves
*couple pinches of ground red pepper
*28 ounce can of of Italian style peeled tomatos with basil
*Chop up the 'maters real good
* About 4-6 ounces of Kalamata olives(black), pitted and sliced.
*1/4 cup drained capers
*3 to 6 anchovies patted dry
*Bunch of parsley chopped well
*Pinch of oregeno
*Salt and black pepper
*1 # of pasta

Cook the pasta. While it's cook'n, in a pot big enough to hold the cooked pasta. Heat the olive oil, add garlic and cook until just turning brown. Toss in the crushed red pepper,BAM! add tomatos with juice, olives, capers, cook for ten minutes.
Finely chop the anchovys and add to pot, stir in oregeno and parsley and cook two minutes more. Toss in the pasta and mix with sauce.
Enjoy with a glass of red wine and some Italian bread.

>Cooking Tip <
Just in case ya don't already know, never overcook your garlic when saute'ing, if it gets too dark and approaches burning, IT GETS REAL BITTER! :x It would also add to the bitterness of whatever your cooking.

 

[Oldtimer]

Oldyaker,

Damn! That sounds purty good. Rekin if'n I kin get EP ta open up her purse a little wider, I gonna hafta try thet. She hates ta let them pet moths out'n her purse--she'll painch a damned nickel til th buffalo far.....passes gas. :shock: Anythin what got capers, anchovies, 'n olive oil in it is somethin I gotta have. Oncet upon a time, I lived fer a little spell in Madrid whilst I went to th University of Madrid, Bodine Iberian Branch Extenshun (U MBIBE :wink: ). I luv the cooking and the number one grease is olive oil 'n hit's a wunnerful replacement fer hawg lard. :wink: I got addicted ta hit--I luv ta eat it, I luv ta smell it, 'n I luv smellin' it when stuff's acookin in it. Madrid is a gourmand's delight. The proper spellin fer thet fancy name is P__I__G...... 'n hit's pronounced 'Hawg'. Now watch them fluffy fellers jump all over that. :lol: "I ain't no trough-hawg, I's a gourmand."

Madrillenos typically eat lunch at a "normal" hour, 'bout noonish, but they reserve dinner fer between 10 PM--Midnight. Around about 5 PM you start hittin' all them difrunt little street 'n sidewalk cafes fer snacks 'n sech 'n they get all they seafood frum the Mediterranean fresh everdamday. Twixt 'n between them little lunch counter places, they's them bodegas with rum 'n cortos de vino 'n all sorts a fine embibin fluids. 'N alla thet usta cost next ta nuthin--cheaper'n goin ta a 7-11 er a U-Rob-Em fer a RC 'n a Moon Pie these days. Hit makes me plumb sick ta know I ain't never gonna git back over yonder. :cry: Hain't no finer folks in th wurld then th Spanish plus, twixt 'n b'tween 5PM 'n one er two in th mornin, there ain't no better place in th wurld fer a gourmand.......trough-hawg in Suth'rn ruralredneck language.

Oldtimer

Oh, 'bout thet garlic cookin......I likes ta take several clumps uv em 'n bake em in th oven til they's good 'n brown. Ya kin eat hit with a spoon az iz er ya kin taken a knife 'n spread hit on fancy bread jes lak ya wud butter. :wink:

 

[Anonymous]

I won't put my Italian dressin' in the icebox, so that knocks out a heap a stuff ya kin put in it. But I kin tote mine in a canoe.

Fellas,

I know its a heap a good things ya kin put in yer Italian dressin', but I dont like ta put mine in the ice box. It tastes better if it jest sets on the counter.

I like ta make a whiskey bottle (I reckon ya kin use scotch bottle...if ya boil it out purty good) full, then I set it on the counter where its eazy ta grab. Fer a few days I shake it up evertime I go in the kitchen. Miz Bear dont like me leavin' it out, but it aint done me no harm.....so far.

We kin git that balsamic vinegar....but first I like ta hear the buffalo fa...pass gas. I bought a jug over ta the Memphis flea market once. It cost a dollar. It wuz good stuff, but I never tried it in the dressin'.

I save the pretzel salt fer the same reason. Its some folks who turnt "frugal" inta a dirty word, but it aint. It dont mean stingy, mean 'er hard hearted. [I got back up Morton rock salt....but I aint tried it yet.]

I aim ta give them wine 'n flavored vinegars a chance, but I helt off cuz I figgered the grail wuz in the reglar stuff if ya jest knew where ta look. Once upon a time someone give me a fancy jar of vinegar with lemon slices in it. It looked a heap better'n it tasted.

I figger ya need a strong, good tastin' vinegar so ya dont have ta add so much vinegar. I cut back on the water cuz I needed more vinegar with the weak stuff.

The batch I made yesterday iz likely the best yet, but I need a few more salads ta tell.....plus it aint had time ta "age". When I figger I'm gittin' close, I aim ta empty two fresh whiskey bottles, fill 'em 'n set one back on the shelf ta see what a few weeks agin' does fer it.

Fer food safety I only use a whiskey bottle two 'er three....mebbe a few more times. Then I empty a fresh one 'n chunk the old one. That way ya dont have ta wash bottles. Its been a mitey long, strange trip lookin' fer the Italian dressin' grail....sho hope I dont ever find it.

Grandma Montesti tole Robert that parmesean cheese wuz mitey fine in Italian dressin'. We give it a try. I doubt it wuz wize ta leave that one out on the counter anyway.....kinda like usin' fresh garlic, pickles, capers, etc.

Any a ya'll keep yer Italian dressin' out on the counter? Did it make ya sick 'er kill ya?

regards,

bearridge
bodine culinary school



Babe: "Johnny, what are you rebelling against?"
Brando: "Whatta ya got?"
The Wild One

 

[Oldtimer]

Eyetalyun Bear,

I ain't never got on no quest fer Eyetalyun dressin'. I did usta chase after all difrunt kinds uv pepper sauce. Now if'n you's usin one heap a vinegar, I rekin that stuff'll sit fer quite a spell jest lak pepper sauce. I usta keep mine in them tall, glass Heinz vinegar bottles. Now when hit formed a "mother" in hit, I'd po it off inta anuther bottle 'n dump th "mother". Don't know why ceptin thas whut my grandmother usta always do. Other'n salt/brine, vinegar is a piklin agent so hit hasta have bakteria-killin properties. 'Member them ol pickle jugs 'n crocks whut usta sit on all th ol country store counters with all that white crap afloatin in hit? Hell, I run acrost sum a them with dead flies in em 'n folks wuz still aeatin th pickles.

Now if'n ignernce is bliss, ya best make sho ya's good 'n blistered afore ya go that far. :wink: About wine vinegar--I has drank some wine in my time that'd pass fer vinegar 'n it got me ta thinkin about chickens 'n eggs......lak which come fustest--vinegar er wine. I'm about bettin that vinegar was a accidental occurrence in wine makin. So, if'n ya wants ta be a purest, ya mite orter look inta them wine vinegars.

Oldtimer

 

[Anonymous]

Friend Oldtimer,

Once upon a time I went on a pepper quest. Ole Don frum New Mexico brung me a big grocery sack fulla chilies. They wuz giant peppers. I already had jalapenos 'n cayenes....mebbe some a them little short peppers ya had ta handle with rubber gloves. [This wuz before I ever seen a habanero.]

I found out peppers go mild unless ya keep 'em in the ice box....particularly after ya dry 'em 'n grind 'em up. I had all these jars fulla different peppers....kinda like a tobacco store. I'd mix 'em up when I went ta cookin'....'er jest puttin' some kick on a mater sammich.

I always keep some peppers in vinegar fer pepper sauce, but I am now extra lazy 'n jest keep Panola, Texas Pete, etc. I like 'em all.

What kinda pepper sauces did ya run upon? Got a favorite?

regards,

bearridge





I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. Mark Twain

 

[oldyaker]

Hot!

What kinda pepper sauces did ya run upon? Got a favorite?

Daves Insanity Sauce will make you take back stuff you never stole! I use Texas Pete to cool it down.
Tobasco, Franks and Texas Pete are used alot around here, when a guest brags there ain't noth'n too hot for him to eat, I offer him up straight "Daves"! I also have dried ground Italian and finely ground habanero.
Also keep some Cholula on hand for Taco night.

I been to this mecca of pepper fanatics and brought some treats home.
http://www.peppers.com
Have fun window shopping!

http://www.g6csy.net/chile/index.html Chili head site.

 

[Oldtimer]

Bearridge,

What kinda pepper sauces did ya run upon? Got a favorite?

Unfortunately, I had a severe problem with th midsection uv my fuselage fer many years 'n had ta give up my pepper quest 'n most a th spicy foods I hankered after like Indian curry 'n various non-commercial salsa picante recipes whut I got from Mexican friends back in Texas. Last a my stuff had ta be thowed out long afore I finally got th cure (surgery) 'n got all back right agin. By then my eatin habits had all changed 'n I don't even crave pepper sauce no more but oncet in a great while. Oddest thing iz, when I had ta give up spicey stuff, my cravins went ta sweets 'n I never was much on sweets afore in my life--even az a chile. Now I'm gettin a mite fluffy in th midsecion 'n gonna hafta quit them sweets as well.

I really don't remember whut my favorites wuz no more but one of em wuz a little bitty, elongated, bright red pepper whut looked lak them decorator peppers. Hit'd knock yer sox down but hit had a great taste......I never keered much fer hot fer hot's sake, preferrin instead some robust flavor but ifn it'uz hot, well so be it. I rekin you mite know whut thet little pepper iz 'n if'n ya do, gimme a holler out'n th winder.

I luv thet TexMex food 'n mosta th real stuff too and am jest gittin' back inta questin' about fer jalapenos with good taste. Ain't no local commercial salsa picantes wurth a hoot 'n Hell, even ones whut used ta be good, so I'm slow by some tryin ta rebuild one but oldtimers done took my jalapeno memories--resta th stuff is purty common. Ain't found no locally available jalapenos whut taste lak whut I'm questin fer.

Ain't no hep atall, I know. Things change......and not always fer th better. If'n ya know a local brand uv pepper sauce what's good enuff fer puttin on yer collard greens, I'd preciate a heads up......I'm agettin mitey tired uv wastin my money on stuff whut don't even resemble pepper sauce ceptin on th label.

Oldtimer

 

[PALADIN]

HOT?

did you say HOT? Well brothers if you are in the mood for sumpthin that'll make you weep and smile at the same time try this easy and very hot sauce!!

Habanero Pepper Sauce
12 habanero peppers, stems removed, finley chopped
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 cup chopped carrots
1/2 cup distilled vinegar
1/4 cup lime juice
Saute the onion and garlic in oil until soft; add the carrots with a small amount of water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until carrots are soft. Place the mixture and raw chiles into a blender and puree until smooth. Don't cook the peppers, since cooking reduces flavor of the Habaneros. Combine the puree with vinegar and lime juice, then simmer for 5 minutes and seal in sterilized bottles.
Heat index : 9 on a scale of 1-10.
Yields 2 cups

 

[Anonymous]

Friends Oldtimer 'n oldyaker,

Aint it hard ta make them dang words come out like yer thinkin'? When my preposterone level dropped a few years back, :wink: I give up lookin' fer "hot", but if it aint some hot ta it, ya mite az well git that black stuff Ole Man McCormick makes......which really aint bad fer some flavor.

I mainly like a habanero cuz it dont take up much room. One the size a my third grade favorite marble will handle a whole pot a chili. I never raised 'em 'n I never parted with a dollar fer any. Ever now 'n then somebody raises 'em jest ta git a chuckle off some poor fool who dont know no better......kinda like Boy Scouts, college frat boys, football players, prison guards, etc.

Yer gut war brung back memories frum a sweet 'n sour time. We wuz over ta Tallahatchie County (way off in the country) 'n it wuz the rock 'n roll life.....broke. I drove a tractor some, but guitars 'n amps iz near bout worse'n computin' machines. Seems evertime I got ahead, somethin' went out. Ya know the chorus on that one. :wink:

Digressin' Alert: I took a likin' ta leather 'n made some guitar straps with toolin' that made ya think a drunk Aztec got a holt of it. Most of the fellas I made 'em fer didnt make the trip, includin' Elvis. Ole Billy Gibbons sez "no thanks" I like 'em thin. He wuz gittin' ready ta hit the stage so he mite a been in the hooch 'n figgered I wuz talkin' bout women.


Back then groceries wuz Miracle Whip, white bread, salt 'n peanut butter. Garden had the tomaters, peppers 'n cucumbers. [I never kilt Peter Rabbit with no cucumber, cuz one had ta make 3-4 meals round our house.]

We wuz mitey lucky I had a brother who always seemed ta have some extra bambi. I went quite a while without tastin' a cow....dang near turnt Buddhist. Then one day I bought a Big Mack 'n near bout spit it out. It wuz a taste I had ta fergit....like a woman fergits how much it hurt when her baby come out.

Breakfast tomater sammich with peppers sliced thin. Lunch tomater sammich too. Ta git a change, it would be a cucumber sammich (with thin sliced cayenes) fer supper. [This wuz when we had run outta bambi burgers.]

I wrote this song "Talkin' Asshole Blues" (sorry little pardners, but I aint like that no more.....Miz Bear cleared me a all that). Sweet part....it warnt no extra fluff on me. Sour part.....it wuz some times when I had ta wait a few days fer the volcano ta die down so I kin eat agin.

If I had some Italian dressin', it woulda been like Vesuvius rite in my belly with Pompey down below. Looks like I'm back in a blues......hmmmm.......uh.....["Idiom sire"]....yes, thank ya very much.

Enuff bout them ole time used-ta-be's. What wuz yer quest? Oh...yeah...pepper sauce fer collards.

I like plain vinegar, even white, but I like peppers in the apple cider vinegar too. Its kinda like barbecue.....I never met one I didnt like. It must be 4-5 jars on the shelf rite now. Unless somebody wrote on 'em, I aint sho where they come frum 'er how long they been on the shelf, but I recall which ones will kin lite a fire in yer belly.

Ever time the vinegar gits low, I jest fill 'em up agin. When the peppers begin ta break up, I chunk 'em out. I reckon IV-V jars will last VI-VII years.....mebbe a whole X? [Them Roman numbers wuz fer Swampy 'n our Italian pals.]

Lord what a tale! I caint wait fer the Thankful Days. It haz been a mitey long, strange trip, but I kin see now I been awful lucky. Now I got a injun 'n a shiney pickup. Unless ya kin use tools, I reckon thats bout all ya need........with some loose shoes 'n a warm outhouse. :wink:

regards,

bearridge





Captain: You gonna get used to wearin' them chains afer a while, Luke. Don't you never stop listenin' to them clinking. 'Cause they gonna remind you of what I been saying. For your own good.
Luke: Wish you'd stop bein' so good to me, cap'n.

 

[Anonymous]

Friend Paladin,

Aint that dish a weapon fer mass destruction? What do ya put it on? 12 habaneros with seeds mite make a fella slap hiz granny. I think its a UN resolution agin food like that. :mrgreen:

regards,

bearridge
geezer


I don’t think the UN is ever going to really be of assistance in the war on terrorism because if you look at the make-up of the UN you see that of 191 members, fewer than 50 are democracies. So basically 3 out of 4 of the members of the UN are despots, dictators, rogues and terrorists themselves. Jed Babbin

 

[Anonymous]

Fellas,

It iz Ole Sam Clemons birthday. He wuz born in Florida, Missouri. That makes it a fine day ta tell ya how ta make Dang Good Italian Dressin'. I dont figger any good Italian dressin' quest ever ends, but I run anuther test at lunch 'n allowed az how I aimed ta share this one with ya'll. I tole ya'll the main parts back in the summer, but I made some big changes.

Dang Good Italian Dressin'

2 Tbls. Zatarains
1 Tbls. garlic powder
1 Tbls. salt
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup redwine vinegar

Put the salt & spices in the water. Boil. Simmer jest a bit. Let it set 'n add vinegar. After it cools, put it in a bottle 'n set it in the ice box.

Later, when ya git ready fer a salad, git yer olive oil out. Pour some vinegar/spice (wont take much), then pour some olive oil. Mitey good eatin'....even Jarvis mite like it.

Miz Bear brought me some small bottles of Pompey Red Wine Vinegar. They make good bottles fer the vinegar/spice part that goes in the icebox.

Oldyaker, now that the vinegar/spice goes in the icebox, I kin add some new stuff ta that part.

Back ta the quest.

regards,

bearridge
bodine culinary institute




I've got a special message for you little pardners out there. I want you to finish your oatmeal at breakfast and do as your ma and pa tell ya because they know best. Don't ever tell a lie and say your prayers at night before you go to bed. And as our friends south of the border say, 'Adios, amigos.' Bronco Billy McCoy