Mr. Kayak, I found a picture of you and the rest of the group, but the little list with the names on it got lost. Which one are you again?
piper
piper
Kayak Jack: found your picture
- Thread starter islandpiper
- Start date
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I'm the second on on the left, Medicine Man of the Tillicoot Indians from west of Saskatchewan. We had the root beer distributorship and screen door clinic until the white man came. Then we sold BMW's, Model T's, and Hummers.
... and it's fine you're looking, Joel. Navigation is always easier when we can sight through your coonskin cap to the furtherest mountain peak.
Your tallness helps for setting our cannons too. Otherwise, the ball would fall a mile short. I remember the time you blazed the sequoias 30 feet up. Your marks served for two centuries before you had to renew them.
Your tallness helps for setting our cannons too. Otherwise, the ball would fall a mile short. I remember the time you blazed the sequoias 30 feet up. Your marks served for two centuries before you had to renew them.
Kayak Jack said:(Yanking at bejewelled necktie) "NO respect!! No respect!!"
Both you and Rodney Dangerfield Jack! :wink:
*A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home. I went over. Nobody was home.
*It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
*I was such an ugly kid that when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
*I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
*Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
*My girlfriend made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
*I'm so ugly that I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.
*I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
*I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
*Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.
*My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
*Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
*For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
*I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said "On your mark... "
*When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
*I once met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
*I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
*he other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
*Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number".
*With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
*My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!
*I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.
*I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.
*My girlfriend had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
*My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
*What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
*My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.
Jack does two shows nightly in Cheyboygan at the Copa Banana Hotel in the Blue Oyster Bar........Ya get 5 bucks if you attend one of his shows....... :roll: :wink: