Natahala Expedishun 2005 Spring

[Swampy]

Brace yer selves!
Photo oportunity of the year was taken.... pictures don't lie.... ( he he he well ... if ya taken um jeeest right they ain't)

We all survived the whitewater..... barely ...... what a trip on the Tuck River! Big time W W there. It was a whole heap bigger than Bro Bar had anticipated. A lot bigger.

Yak, Joe, Bar and moi did the Tuck on Sunday afternoon....

Monday Bar, Joe and Yak did the Naty .... moi staued home and sitted with Chuck ... :roll:

Lots of details later... but it was a blast!!!
Geezers can have fun both on and in the water.... :roll:
right Yak... :twisted:

I learned more than I wanted to. But very grateful to learn as much.

There was more laughter than one human can tolerate.... the women on this trip, Karen ( Bill's wife) and KT ( mine) stayed ashore but had a lot of relaxation with us away from the campfire.
Chuck got sun burned some... I think .... or is he always a red neck??? I dunno....

Yak ( who is now known as Robert Denaro look alike) had us in screams the whole time. The guy has a heart of gold, a mind of a genius, and an ass of lead.

More on that later too....

Joe was his usual cool self. Nothing rocks Joe.... a lot like Daper Al....

Bro Bar... what can I say.... his love for W W is passed only by his love fer his woman ..... and that might be in jeopardy ... only if she allow him his trills in the W W. I bet Bro Bar was an active teen when he found W W .... still is.... imagine a guy who wishes he was 100 pounds lighter and a foot shorter just to be able to "water bug" over those rapids?!

Chucky should be home tomorrow and Bill and Karen on Saturday... Yak is probably home now .... I can see him telling his wife not to read the forum for a while.... LOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

swampy

 

[oldyaker]

QUIET Swampus!!! I'm getting a message from the the Great Spirit..........
Yes Great Spirit? Oh....You say your sending the message in phonetic....OK Great Spirit....Ready to copy....... You say this is in regard to Swampy..........Sierra-----November----Alpa-----Tango-----Charlie------Hotel--------end of message. I copy Great Spirit, but everyone already knows that.......no disrespect intended Great Spirit.

And Swampus, quit sneak'n up on me when I'm showering, :shock: how else would you know what it looks like........I had Chucky guarding the door, he must have left his post!

I still luv you, you big Galoot!!!! Even if you are what the Great Spirit sez you are...... :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Kayak Jack]

Welcome back, guys. Ya missed the nudes who ran thru last night.

 

[oldyaker]

Welcome back, guys. Ya missed the nudes who ran thru last night.

DANG!!!! Everything cool happens when when I'm away! :cry:

OK Jack! Whadja do with 'em? :x

 

[Kayak Jack]

Well, Yakus Curious, I treated the fellas to steak, and the gals to me.

 

[oldyaker]

Well, Yakus Curious, I treated the fellas to steak, and the gals to me.

Bloody Good Jack! You are holding the Geezer creed to the highest of standards! You are to be condemed....oops commended! Wait until Sir Neville hears about this......I see extra rum rations and liver spot cream in your future! Jolly Good old man!

BTW, shhhhhh........top secret! You may want to ignore Swampy's posts for awhile. He has a habitual problem with lying. I found it's caused by a grits intolerence by residents of the South. The sad part, there is no cure.
Now, Chuck and Sir Neville do dine on grits, but that doesn't mean their telling the truth either! :wink: Just thought you should know Jack.....

 

[Kayak Jack]

Yep, gritz iz an abdominal species

 

[Swampy]

Yes, as I sit back and lurk at the poor Yak's feeble attempts to weaken my report, I find that I can recall even more .... er ... "stories?" ... to vent ...... <wicked laugh>

Chuck and Jim did wake me up this morning... they rehearsed it well.... picture a slow , crippled, sleepy eyed old man headed to the bath house .... this DiNero look alike staes on the wooden bridge coming from the bath that "Don't go to the middle stall!" , puzzled the old gent scuffles along to the bath house.... opens door .... nothing..... struggling to get to the urnal and out jumps/leaps/attacks/ screams .......... Chuck .....

I didn't need to finish the trip to the urnal.... :cry:

Has anyone asked DeNero how his back stroke is?
The man is a darring W W paddler..... He JUMPS to the edge.... he doesn't cruise out to it ..... he also stays wet a lot.... :shock: :roll: :wink:

I'm on my 14th draft of the trip report..... I want this one GOOD... :lol: 8) :shock:

swampy your on the spot reporter with news/sports/ and bull

Now can be reffered to as Snatch N' Scratch of the Natahala River

Here is an URL of NOC's photos of the gallant ones.... who is that famous celeberaty hiding under his vest?

http://www.photoreflect.com/scripts/prs ... &adjust=-1

anothet view (Joe the water level is down a tad...) :http://www.photoreflect.com/scripts/prsm.dll?eventorder?photo=03TF00DE020016&start=0&album=0&adjust=-1&d=0&pphoto=03TF00DE020015

http://www.photoreflect.com/scripts/prs ... 00DE020016

I'll say no more ... ( for tonight) he he he he he Try to scare me huh?! Chucky is next ....... whaaa ha ha ha ha ha

swampy

 

[oldyaker]

Swampus Fergetus doesn't remember anything, how are we to trust his memory of an incident only a day or so old? He forgets can openers, butter, sour cream, bacon bits, cooking tongs. He forgets to drop his drawers before relieving himself, he scatters his camping gear over 5 campsites and can't find anything. He can't give himself medicine, KT has to dispense it for him. He puts our river lunch in his truck and forgets it's there :wink: only to say he forgot about it until he got home. So now, we are to believe a story by him already two days old. I ask the counsler for an aquittal of judgement by the jury of this forum for reason by insanity of the accuser. If he had an Indian name, it would be Swampy Crooked Mouth! If you believe anything he says, he has a deal on a used camping stove for you! He could be an anchor man on the CBS evening news! :roll: Other than that, I love being with the guy and consider him one my best friends. He just loves WW as he expressed it to me on the river...... :roll:

 

[Swampy]

Yer honor... jest look at 'em....
Wet, aching, old, drawn up..... ya kin see in thar eyes the mischief that dwells thar! ...... :twisted:

<SLAM went the hammer> "Yer right son! Hang em high!" :shock:

"I wanna resess fer a bit yer honor fore i kin git sum pictures frum the High Sherrif." <He's still roamin the southern states ......> :roll:

"Dun deal!"

(And I did all that wit out the brazen lawyer frum Cleveland ...) :wink:

 

[oldyaker]

Yer Honor, It's a case of mistaken identety, I was with Jack eat'n a steak he gimme and watch'n necked wimen chase him around, he's ma wittness.
Musta been dat Bobby DeNiro fella dat was wit Swampus.........Swampy don't see none too well to start with and his glasses waz lost most a da time iz wat da Sheriiff said.....The Sheriiffbbbbbbbbbbb is quiet most of da time but observes alot, even when the Swamp is bein' disrespectful to him......which is most a da time......Swampus blames it on da Great River Spirit. You ain't lived til ya see dat ol' Geezer Swampus dance around an extinguished campfire! Now you tell me yer Honor, does a sane man dance around a camp fire dat ain't burn'n, let alone one dat is burn'n?

 

[BEARS BUDDY]

If sanity is a requirement we gots'ta close the forum down. :lol: That would be tragical.

 

[Swampy]

BB ... with Yak and I .... and the rest of us .... we should be good to go till the year 2569 ! :shock: :lol:

Yak.... Bobby.... what ever ya see yer self as today ... or tonight ....
The report should make the Kennedy report look like a primer.

I'll wait ( I'll have to wait) until the sheriff gets back home and gets the pictures to me.... ( I took them while the high sheriff was on shore where it was a lot drier than where we were). They will show that we haven't the since God placed into nats. BUT! the amount of W W experince was invauluble. Yak also found out how much river water he can swallow in one day. :shock:

"Get to shore! Or you'll die!" ...... going through one set of class II rapids can motivate anyone to get to shore... but a class III ahead can add extra amounts of power.

Later after all is said.... I want to ask Matt if he can design a boat built on Yak's frame.... they would stay atop the class VI rapids just like a raft...

your on the water reporter
swampy

well only if I am on the water too...
snatch

 

[oldyaker]

your on the water reporter
swampy
Yep, Combat reporter, "How many more of these motherfletchers do we have to go thru!?" "If there was a road on the bank, I'd leave this chickens#!^ outfit and walk back to the truck!" :roll:
well only if I am on the water too...
snatch

Can JEM watercraft make a boat with rockers on it so Snatch can stay on dry land and pretend he's on the water? :lol:

 

[Swampy]

ooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww me legs...... :cry:

now now Yakky .... don't go postal now ..... If I remember right someone else was looking for that train out also....:twisted: :lol:

Reason my legs ach isn't the sun burn ..... KT reminded me that I had them "locked" into those brces.... there maybe a dent in that red Yahoo from me pushing on the plastic braces.... :roll:

swampy

 

[oldyaker]

now now Yakky .... don't go postal now .....
there maybe a dent in that red Yahoo from me pushing on the plastic braces.... :roll:

swampy

I ain't postal pal, just irritated where a part of my anatomy was permantly
affixed to the rubber section of that raft! The fellas could have been a little more gentle in that area when they used the paddles to pry me off. I'll never forget that loud pop when it was finally removed. :roll:

 

[Swampy]

I am still suffering from the pushing against the braces in that Yahoo. The sunburn ( slight) wasn't the culprit. This old Geezer lernt a lot out there. After looking at the three of ya's in that raft and the way ya'll "lined up" for that falls, there must have been three "dimples' in that raft. :shock:

Would have been four, but one old Geezer thought it better to sit out that dance and take a nod under the trees in camp. AWWWW that Hennesse brings sleep where sleep was evasive earlier... :wink:

I'll go back with all of ya's and have the past experince to go with you all. I wouldn't do it again with out any of ya's on board.

Next time though , I'm gonna save that beer that we found and have it handy down river when my nerves are racked from watch ya'll whip through those rapids. You guys play hard ball when I am still tossing a beach ball! :shock:
Your pal,
"Snatch"

 

[oldsparkey]

<SLAM went the hammer> "Yer right son! Hang em high!" :shock:

"I wanna resess fer a bit yer honor fore i kin git sum pictures frum the High Sherrif." <He's still roamin the southern states ......> :roll:

Swampy
I know it is killing you, having to be nice and everything because you want those pictures I have...

I should not tell you this but the CD is in the mail and on it's way to you, He He He He He .... I did keep the negatives for insurance reasons..... mine.

Guess what........ I am not going to say anything about how they turned out ...... ya just have to SWEAT it out till they get to you. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Chuckles.

 

[Swampy]

Chuck's 35mm camera is water proof.... or so he said.... :shock:

That is the only kind to take with you on rough waters.

Chuck, I'll spare ya third go around ... :wink:


:wink:


:wink:
swampy

 

[oldyaker]

Picture of the century.....

Photo of the century and I missed it........ :cry:

Getting ready to run the Tuck, everyone getting dressed, Swampy comes out of his tent with a redneck wet suit on...............

Red as red can be long Johns with a barn door in the aft end! :shock:

Tell me that don't cause emotional scars! :cry:

For those that don't partake in these trips, you don't know what your missing. :lol: :lol: :lol: