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NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,573
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82
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
From time to time, we think about, and maybe talk about, becoming "better". Self improvement, like a tough piece of steak, is better if taken in small bites, chewed on for a good while, and swallowed carefully. Let's pretend that one of us is deciding to make himself better. Not that any of us are bad, just that one of us would like to be better. How could he go about it?

In the past we were encouraged to write a list of things to improve about ourselves. And on New Year's Day, some would launch with enthusiasm. And typically, before the month ended, the list would already be forgotten - trampled in the dust of living our life.

One year I resolved to stop procastinating, and vowed to start the effort no later than by the of March! Frankly, that might have been the most honest that I ever was about such an undertaking. To have realistic expectations of success, that method was about as bad as having a long list and thinking it would be completed in a month. Neither one works very well. Human animals aren't built that way. So, what can work?

Well, a list is a very good idea. Write it down; think about it; decide to do it.
Take small bites. Start to change one thing - only one thing - at a time.
Break that one characteristic, or habit, into steps. Even smaller bites.
Practice several times a day, doing things differently on the first of those steps. Do that for a week.
Congratulate yourself, and continue to practice the very same thing for another week.
Don't stop practicing that singke, first, little step jntil it becomes an ingrained habit. Until you do it without thinking that you are trying to do it that way.
Then, start learning to do the second step of that first item on your list. Etc.

The proof that learning has occurred is a change in behavior. When we've learned the new habit, we've learned to improve that step of that goal. Not until. And when we do learn it - we can celebrate!
 

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
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Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
New Years Resolutions.......
I smoked for years and would decide to quit abut every year , Sure as hell I would start before I even stopped and this went on for all those years. Stop on new years day and start 6 days later.
On Jan 2013 , I changed the routine , I smoked up to the 6th and stopped. Since it was the day I always started again after stopping on the 1st it worked ,Haven't touched a smoke since then.
There was one additional helping item...... A triple bypass two weeks later and three weeks in the hospital plus a couple months of aftercare. :rolleyes:

Like Jack said , One step at a time to change that habit.
The easy way to make changes is when you notice you want to and not at any special time or date , just when you decide to make them. It works , I have made a lot of changes over the last 6 years when it became apparent they needed to be made.

I always refer to the Pygmy and the Elephant.
It seamed that a White Hunter was out hunting and stumbled upon a Pygmy who just killed a Elephant.
The White Hunter asked the Pygmy what was he going to do with the dead Elephant ?
The Pygmy told him he was going to eat it.
The White Hunter laughed and said , how in the world do you plan on eating that whale Elephant since you are so small and the Elephant is so large.
The Pygmy looked at the White Hunter and said .... " One Bite at a Time "
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,573
101
82
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
Yep, "bite sized" chunks. Meaning a chunk that is doable for YOU, under the circumstances that you have to work in. Another advantage of that is that you can celebrate more victories.
But, no matter how, when, or where we determine to change - the operative word here is determine. If we don't apply enough determination, we won't succeed. Gotta mean it; can't be pretending.

Climbing down from my soap box now.
 
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oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,153
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76
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
Jack....
Your 100% correct , determination is the key to anything you want to do. Go for the gusto , toss in some Perseverance at times.

Something I have never told anyone on this forum and I'm very serious about..........:)

I go by what a person says and how they say it .... If I hear .." I would like to " or " been thinking about it " "Do you think it will help me ? " and any other what I call hedge words or phrases it a no go for them , take a walk , find someone else.

If I hear .. " I WANT TO " then I know that person is serious about it and I can provide some help for them. Folks would ask me if I have helped anyone and my answer was always ... Everyone from Janitors to Judges. ( Two occupations I have a high respect for )

What I'm getting at is using Hypnosis to aid a person in breaking a habit and even relaxing which were the two most requested items. Sometimes it was even starting a new habit like better studying and retention of subject matter.
I've been a Certified *** Ethical Hypnotists in both the Standard Hypnosis and in the Advanced Scientific Hypnosis since May 19 , 1988. ( Ethical Hypnosis Training Center of Florida )
When I retired from the Sheriffs Office in July 1998 I retired from both.

*** Ethical , no theatrics like making a person think they are a chicken or any of the other nonsense.
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,573
101
82
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
Interesting. Hypnosis is something I've read about a bit, but have no experience with. I like the definition of ethical hypnosis. Ethical, but not as much fun?

And, while I say that "I'm persistent", others have called it bull headedness. I think the difference of terms used
is in whether or not the other fellow agrees, or disagrees, with the direction of the determination.

Oh, back on self-improvement-type stuff, it 's a good idea to pick something easy for a first project. Success breeds success.
 

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,153
68
76
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
Interesting. Hypnosis is something I've read about a bit, but have no experience with. I like the definition of ethical hypnosis. Ethical, but not as much fun?
That works two ways , sometimes it's necessary to do a little harmless something to prove to the person they were actually hypothesized , especially when they say ...I can't be hypothesized but I want you to go ahead and try.

It's a simple little item , a single mosquito bite on the back of the hand , providing they tell me they are not allergic to those bites. During our question and answer secession.
It's simple suggestion since everyone knows about mosquitoes.

While hypnotized I tell them a mosquito has bitten the backside of their hand ( i lightly touch the area ) And when they wake up it will start to itch and as we talk the itching will increase till I snap my fingers.

They wake up ( for better terms ) and as we talk the itching starts , we keep discussing things ( self Hypnosis process for them to do ) and eventually I ask , Do you think you were hypnotized , Most of the time the answer is .... NO but I'm really relaxed and fell great.

Then I ask why do you keep scratching the back of your hand ? Response .. A mosquito bite me there yesterday. OK , How would you like me to make the itching go away with just a snap of my fingers... All sorts of responses on that , usually laughing.

I wait a minute till they start scratching again and snap my fingers..........No More Itching. You should of seen the looks I would get :D. Then I tell them it was a post hypnotic suggestion so they would know they were actually hypnotized.
Now they believe me which helps with the self hypnosis process that I suggested for them to do.
 

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,153
68
76
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
Interesting. That would be interesting to see.
Sometimes watching can really relax the person who is suppose to be watching.
When working with a female I have them bring a friend ( male or female ) along so they can be a witness to everything. At times I have had to nudge the witness as they start to drift off.
Each secession was recorded when working with a female.