Samaritan Lawyer

[Anonymous]

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.


Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have money for food" the poor man replied. "Well then, you can come with me to my house" the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me". "Bring them along" the lawyer replied.

The second man in a pitiful voice said, "But sir I also have a wife and six children with me". "Bring them all as well", the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as a limousine.


Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you".






The lawyer replied, "glad to do it------you'll love my place, the grass is almost a foot high."

 

[Swampy]

Tiz th' grass is always greener an higher over at th lawyerz place...
Fer hiz lawn iz da envy off all :wink:
an paid by all..... :lol:

swampy signpost legal eagle fer th swamps an small clearins....
(Gadgeeated frum the Bodine school o' public Lawyer Terminology. Class o' 57)

 

[Pirogue]

FARMER VS. LAWYER
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas three-Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now it's my turn."


The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

Sorry Bear. You started it.