(Overheard on the poopdeck)
Act 1, scene 1: cabin boy approaches a grizzled olde (REALLY OLD, and kinda decrepit too) Kapitan. hesitatantly, timidly, he takes a breath and speaks.
"Sir, oh sir. An enemy has been sighted off the port bow."
Olde kapitan speaks. "Dammit, boy! You know I'm an ex-lawman, and don't know any of that nautical-type talk. Which way is 'port'?"
Avoiding the olde kapitan's eyes, and wishing he was again below decks and curled up with the second mate, the tender cabin boy sez, "Why, sir. I believe it's left. Yes. It's the left side of the boat." Then remembering just how daft the kapitan really is, he points and adds, "That side, Sir. Over there."
With only great effort, does the kapitan extract a tattered notebook from his pocket. Thumbing through it until he gets to the right part, he reads aloud, "Attention on deck! Load the foreward torpedo tubes. FIRE!"
NOTE: Having forgotten to first give an order to turn the boat left 90 degrees, all he succeeded in torpedoeing out of the water was some bearded olde fart in a flat bottomed peerow. A blue polytarp floated to the surface.
Scene segues off into a sunset as the kapitan and the cabin boy exit .... holding hands.
