How The Tradition Started of Placing an Angel Atop the Christmas Tree.
One Christmas Eve, many years ago, Santa was preparing for his annual trip. It wasn't a smooth start like so many trips have been before. Santa stormed into the barn where he found the elves screwing off and the sleigh not even half loaded. He started grumbling to get them to finish the sleigh loading. Santa than stamped back up to his house to get supper before the big trip. He found a note from Mizzus Santa to warm up a TV dinner because she went off with the elves wives to go caroling. Well, he burnt his supper and was really in a mood by this time. So he went back to the barn to check the loading process, he jumped up on the sleigh and in the process, broke the button that holds his britches up. After more grumbling and holding on to his britches, he stamps back into his cottage. He is trying to sew the button back on his pants and poking his finger with the needle the whole time. When he is done, he puts his fancy Santa coat back on and heads for the barn. He is really hot under the collar, the sleigh is loaded but the reindeer ain't hitched up. So he bitches at the elves and goes to hook up the sleigh, RIPPPPP! His britches split on the backside! Back to the house for more sewing and cussing. Than it's back to the barn. He jumps on the sleigh and the starboard runner snaps off! A very bad start to a trip! Santa jumps off the sleigh, grabs the oxy-acet torch and welds the runner back onto the sleigh. By this time time the elves have had it with his crap and are about 2 sheets to the wind. Santa jumps back on the sleigh and cracks the whip with the on Dancer and Prancer line he always uses. WHOOSH! The reindeer team takes off and there the sleigh sits with Santa sitting on top!
The elves forgot to hook the sleigh to the reindeer team! They drop their flasks and run like hell to hide behind the bails of hay.
Steam is rolling off of Santa's head! He is cussing under his breath and heads back to the house. He throws the the door open, heads for the kitchen cabinet, and pulls out a fifth of Jack Daniels. He rips off the cap of bourbon and takes about 6 mighty pulls off that fifth! After about half the fifth is gone, Santa hears a knock at the door. He answers the door and there is a pretty female elf dressed like a beautiful angel. In her beautiful angelic voice, she asks Santa........"Santa, after we decorated for the Christmas Party, we had this one Christmas Tree leftover, what do you want me to do with it?"
And that my friends, is how an Angel ended being on top of the Christmas Tree!
Merry Christmas all you Southern Paddlers!
One Christmas Eve, many years ago, Santa was preparing for his annual trip. It wasn't a smooth start like so many trips have been before. Santa stormed into the barn where he found the elves screwing off and the sleigh not even half loaded. He started grumbling to get them to finish the sleigh loading. Santa than stamped back up to his house to get supper before the big trip. He found a note from Mizzus Santa to warm up a TV dinner because she went off with the elves wives to go caroling. Well, he burnt his supper and was really in a mood by this time. So he went back to the barn to check the loading process, he jumped up on the sleigh and in the process, broke the button that holds his britches up. After more grumbling and holding on to his britches, he stamps back into his cottage. He is trying to sew the button back on his pants and poking his finger with the needle the whole time. When he is done, he puts his fancy Santa coat back on and heads for the barn. He is really hot under the collar, the sleigh is loaded but the reindeer ain't hitched up. So he bitches at the elves and goes to hook up the sleigh, RIPPPPP! His britches split on the backside! Back to the house for more sewing and cussing. Than it's back to the barn. He jumps on the sleigh and the starboard runner snaps off! A very bad start to a trip! Santa jumps off the sleigh, grabs the oxy-acet torch and welds the runner back onto the sleigh. By this time time the elves have had it with his crap and are about 2 sheets to the wind. Santa jumps back on the sleigh and cracks the whip with the on Dancer and Prancer line he always uses. WHOOSH! The reindeer team takes off and there the sleigh sits with Santa sitting on top!
The elves forgot to hook the sleigh to the reindeer team! They drop their flasks and run like hell to hide behind the bails of hay.
Steam is rolling off of Santa's head! He is cussing under his breath and heads back to the house. He throws the the door open, heads for the kitchen cabinet, and pulls out a fifth of Jack Daniels. He rips off the cap of bourbon and takes about 6 mighty pulls off that fifth! After about half the fifth is gone, Santa hears a knock at the door. He answers the door and there is a pretty female elf dressed like a beautiful angel. In her beautiful angelic voice, she asks Santa........"Santa, after we decorated for the Christmas Party, we had this one Christmas Tree leftover, what do you want me to do with it?"
And that my friends, is how an Angel ended being on top of the Christmas Tree!
Merry Christmas all you Southern Paddlers!