Some planes are faster than others, meaning that also, some are slower. Mine is of a slower breed. On top of that, I throttle it back even more to a slow cruise. Saves fuel and I get to see more scenery that way. Suits me fine. But, some friends call it my “Turtle Chaser”. So, here's what that might be like, chasin' turtles. Springtime now, and turtles are out sunning themselves on bright days. I waited for CAVU weather - pronounced 'Kay-voo' and stands for Clear, And Visibility Unlimited. In other words, picnic weather. Our local river, the Red Cedar, has a few fish, and some turtles too. Turtles should be out today. So, I prowled there. “AHH! There's some out on a log! Down we go!” Maybe you've noticed on the ads for geezer scooters, one of them also offers a telescoping grabber rod. Has a large, pistol grip you hang on to, squeeze a long trigger, and way out on the business end a pair of pincers close around a can on a high shelf. The geezer can remain seated on his (brand name here, as advertised on TV), and has a big, $h!t eatin' grin on his face. He's so happy to be using this extended grabber arm. I have one of these in my hand, ready to snatch up an unwary turtle. No grin on my face, just a determined smirk. We're skimming along the river now, the Ruptured Duck (my plane) and me. Her engine sounds nice, smooth. Turtles are jumping into the water behind us, but none ahead. I have my turtle in sight - “Target Acquired!” I announce to no one in particular, lining up the last resort ring-and-post machine gun sight that's duct taped to the windshield. Put in 10 degrees of flaps, add carb heat to prevent carb icing, ease back on the throttle, about 80 mph should be good turtle snatching speed. Roll up on the left wing a bit, so I can reach out the window, past the wing strut, with this grabber arm, get it into position. DAMN! He's moving. He's heard us. A bit lower, a few more degrees of bank, timing it right is tricky. As he raises his head to jump, CLICK! I came up empty – missed him. WHOA there - trees up ahead; we have to clear those obstacles. Full throttle, carb heat off, back on the yoke for more altitude. Pop up above the trees, level out to let air speed build again, raise flaps, and circle around and make a downstream run. No more turtles, so I go hunting for canoeists and sunbathers. If there's no more turtles out, maybe some ta-tas?