This was sent to me and I got a tickle out of it........
Chuck.
***************************************************************************************
Grandma was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many
times before.. After she applied her lipstick and started to
leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the
toilet paper good-bye!"
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He
was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a
towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them
back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, " Who was
THAT?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had
a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The
little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she
said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo
while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he
replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's
it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied.. "I
can't read."
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun
for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of
these yourself!"
( My Favorite one)
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting
pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing
them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The
mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear,Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six.."
A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make
babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised,
tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do
you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just
change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Children's Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher..
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the
young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds
back," said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good
luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants....
Chuck.
***************************************************************************************
Grandma was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many
times before.. After she applied her lipstick and started to
leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the
toilet paper good-bye!"
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He
was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a
towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them
back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, " Who was
THAT?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had
a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The
little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she
said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo
while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he
replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's
it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied.. "I
can't read."
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun
for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of
these yourself!"
( My Favorite one)
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting
pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing
them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The
mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear,Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six.."
A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make
babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised,
tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do
you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just
change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Children's Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher..
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the
young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds
back," said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good
luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants....
